Last time I wrote, I talked about having scheduled a long distance healing session with Diane Goldner. I’d read her fascinating book Awakening to the Light twice and was so inspired, I thought I’d book a session.
I’ve written about my tummy pain here before. Ultrasounds, x-rays, blood tests, etc. never showed anything irregular. I was diagnosed with IBS-C, but no matter if I was constipated, cleared out or uncharacteristically regular—I woke constantly every night with mini-explosions of pain in locations all over my stomach. It never lasted beyond waking. It felt so cruel. The worst was a violent wrenching as if someone was twisting my insides. (This only happened when I slept and it didn’t have anything to do with the act of lying down because I read my Kindle every night for an hour or two before sleep in the same lying-down position and had no pain.)
Meds and diet had no effect.
I’ve exercised since I was eighteen, so I always kept things moving. I added yoga and hiking these last six months and I’m glad I did, but that didn’t change anything.
Quitting smoking made no difference (but I’m glad I did that, too).
I worked very hard to clear out resentments and anger that had recycled endlessly for years. I am beyond thrilled that I succeeded in removing almost all of that, but it took a lot of work and persistence. It was hard to lose the irrational feeling that I was accomplishing something by remembering what happened when I was frozen (fight, flight, FREEZE, or collapse) and getting really angry about it. I did work off a lot of rage through exercise years ago, which was immensely helpful. Ultimately, I had to make a conscious choice throughout my days as to what I wanted to focus on in order to create a greater sense of well-being.
It is my belief that all our challenges are for the evolution of our soul, but this winter I was beyond frustrated asking God night after night how this pain was doing me or anyone else any good at all. It felt like torture.
At some point, I became much kinder to myself. When the pain woke me, I started feeling atypical compassion. I’d ask if there was anything I could do to make me feel better like have a treat and watch Casablanca or listen to music on my iPhone or download a great book or make a plan for the next day to go to a thrift shop looking for treasures.
I became my pal this winter, which, in retrospect, I find amazing. I’m 61 and never thought that would happen.
Then I discovered Diane Goldner’s memoir of becoming a healer.
I went into her website and filled out the form requesting a healing. All I said was I had stomach pain. She emailed me a few days later and we set up a time and date. I knew from reading her website that all I would need to do for the session was lie down and relax while she sent healing energy.
She called me shortly before our appointment and we talked for ten or fifteen minutes about what was going on with me. After we hung up, I laid down for forty-five minutes or so. I did feel a bit of tingling, but mostly I felt nothing. She called me afterwards and told me what she picked up. I found her delightful to talk to. There’s a really beautiful and positive energy to her person.
I knew it is not unusual to have an increase in symptoms for a couple nights after the healing, so I was absolutely thrilled when I slept that first night and didn’t wake up once with any pain.
I did have an increase in symptoms the next two nights.
And since then, no pain.
Night after night, absolutely no pain.
It’s like a miracle.
I still wake up frequently, but I’m happy when I wake up because there’s no pain and I’m with my pal. (Me!) It’s just my darn old hyper-vigilance, plus I’m wound up with a lot going on now.
Anyway, energy healing works. I just finished another riveting book by Diane that explains how (to the extent that something ineffable can be explained) called How People Heal. How is not a big issue for me because, as I wrote in my book PTSD Frozen in Time – Amazon, PTSD Frozen in Time – Other Than Amazon, when I got off meds I could see auras around people and had a lot of non-ordinary reality experiences, which blew my mind wide open as to what’s possible.
I just wasn’t sure my soul contract would allow the healing.
But it did.